Tag Archives: Ryan R Palmer

Halloween Candy Review: Gummy Eyeballs

Throughout the month I will be reviewing unusually creepy Halloween candy. Anyone can give out the usual M&M, Snickers, Milky Way, Twix mix. Stand out by giving a unique treat that will both repulse and excite the kids in your neighborhood.

25_5801Today we will be taking a look at a Halloween classic, gummy eyeballs! The Marshmallow Eyeballs were great, but these gummies have an 20121026_164728eerie, slimy texture that resemble actually chomping down on an eyeball.
When you first look at the packaging you get a nice drawing of bloodshot, floating eyeballs. The only deceptive thing about the packaging is that the gummy candy is actually flat and not round like an eyeball. This actually works out very well for placing on top of cupcakes, cakes, or other Halloween related foods you may have baked this year!
The consistency is very chewy, but not as tough as a traditional gummy bear. There is a lot of chewing and slimy consistency, which turns out to be a little gross!
Regardless of the gross factor, the kids in your neighborhood will definitely remember your house if you give out these gummy eyeballs! It’s all about making a memorable moment on Halloween night for kids everywhere.

Candy available at Oriental Trading!

Dead Skin Dave, the Pirate FREE e-book!

Say goodbye to Summer and hello to Fall with one last pirate adventure!

Dead Skin Dave, the Pirate! e-book version will be FREE for the next five days!

Click here to get your FREE copy today!

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Autographed and personalized copies of Dead Skin Dave, the Pirate!

Hello, readers!

If you have yet to order your copy of Dead Skin Dave, the Pirate! and would like a personalized autograph to accompany your purchase, wait no longer! I am gauging interest in this, so if it is something you would like, please fill out the contact form below!

Once you fill out the form, I will contact you with information on how to order.

A Paypal account will be required, as it is the safest and most effective way of sending money and personal data over the Internet.

Dead Skin Dave, the Pirate NOW AVAILABLE!

Ahoy, mateys! Dead Skin Dave, here! I am happy to announce that me grand adventure, Dead Skin Dave, the Pirate is now published! I look forward to meetin’ ye inside the pages o’ me book! Now, I turn ye back over to my author, Ryan R. Palmer.

Thank you, Dave! Without further ado, here is the ordering information for Dead Skin Dave, the Pirate!

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Dead Skin Dave, the Pirate!

Buy it now for $6.99!
Available NOW at CreateSpace or Amazon!

e-book $3.99 at Amazon

My fiercest enemy, revealed!

Hello again, junior pirates! Captain Dead Skin Dave here again. I’ve been gettin’ ready to debut my first book o’ adventures next month! I’ve had my first mate, Tom, go out ta all the party stores and stock up on streamers, balloons, and he even found little plastic treasure chests! It’s sure ta be a grand party, indeed!

Today, I am pleased ta introduce you to the most feared pirate in all o’ the seas, Hairy Hazelroth!
Hairy Hazelroth was the vilest pirate of all the seas! Every visible part of his body covered in dark black hair, green ribbons tied to the end of his enormously long beard, and his giant black Captain’s hat, all made this notorious pirate easily identifiable.
Hairy and his crew were known for pillaging not only Royalty ships, but even the ships of fellow pirates. And soon, he would be coming for Dead Skin Dave!

Well, junior pirates, doesn’t Hairy Hazelroth sound scary? I can assure you, he is! You can read all about my encounter with him when me book is released next month!

Next time I will be sharin’ a little more about me first mate, Tom! I hope ye are lookin’ forward to it, ’cause I am! Until then, have a swashbuckin’ good time!

 

Dead Skin Dave, the Pirate coming April 2013!
For more info, click here!

Inspiration Place: It’s a Grind Coffee House

My next journey for inspiring writing places tales me to It’s A Grind Coffee House in Long Beach, CA. For all of my writing sessions, I am using a Microsoft Surface RT with Touch cover and Office 2013. picture010

With a mostly comfortable plastic chair underneath me and an adequate sized wire mesh table, the outdoor patio is a very relaxing and inspiring place to get writing done. I was able to get a perfect table overlooking the lone plantlike tree thing which blocks out the view of the parking lot. Here in an urban setting this is the best I’m going to get unless I go down to a park.
There is also a lot of opportunity to get lost in one’s work at this location. Most of the time the other patrons of this establishment either have their iPods going or are furiously typing away on a laptop. It is an almost library-like setting without the smell of stale books. As I spend more time at this location I have a feeling people will come to recognize me, as a few regulars came by while I was writing and were enthusiastically greeted by the staff and a few patrons. This sense of community is definitely a plus of living in the walking, biking and artist friendly Bixby Knolls section of Long Beach.

picture011Listening to the chirps of birds from the, uh, plant and the slight chatter of people enjoying a cup of coffee with a friend or partner really help make this spot the best I have written at so far. It is quiet, I can get in the correct mindset, and on cold days there is ample seating inside the coffee shop with  undisturbed quiet corners. I look forward to returning to this location and I urge all of my fellow writers to get out and find the place that is right for you.

Dead Skin Dave coming in April

Get ready for the swashbuckling, witty adventure of Dead Skin Dave the Pirate and his first mate, Tom, coming this April!

Up until that time I will be sharing exclusive photos, concept art and more as I get the book ready for publication.

Stay tuned!

The Elf who Came in From the Cold

Gibbly the elf was really cold. He was not sure why standing out in the falling snow was a “privilege”, as the other elves said. Perhaps they knew better, or perhaps they were playing a trick on poor Gibbly. He had been standing in front of a red pole with a flashing light on the end all day long. His instructions were to call the head elf immediately if the light were to ever stop flashing. Gibbly was told this was a very important job. You see, if the light stopped flashing, Santa would not be able to find his way out of the North Pole and into the sky.  That would mean no presents being delivered on Christmas Eve!

“But,” Gibbly thought. “Santa already has GPS installed on his new sleigh. Does he even need these lights to guide him anymore? I don’t see anyone else watching the other lights.”
And he was right. There were no other elves watching the other lights. In fact, there was no one around as far as he could see. The only thing he could see, besides the annoying flashing light on a pole, was a small brick building way off in the distance. There was smoke coming out of the chimney, and all of the windows were lit with a bright, yellow light. The warmth coming from the fireplace melted the snow around the building. It looked to be the only warm place for miles.

“Oh, forget it. I need to get out of the cold!” Gibbly slowly walked through the blinding white snow and reached the brick building in just the right time – his pointy elf ears were frozen solid! He quickly knocked on the big, wooden door. It creaked open under the weight of his knocking. Gibbly looked around, but he could see no one standing in the doorway. Not wanting the rest of him to freeze, Gibbly walked inside. The warmth immediately flushed his cheeks, and he could feel his ears again!

“Hello?” Gibbly called out, but no one answered. Gibbly made himself at home, lounging in the overstuffed red sofa and sipping hot chocolate out of a green, swirly glass. Gibbly was now nice and warm. He was so warm and comfortable on the couch that he quickly started falling asleep.

***

“Hey. Why are in my house?”

Gibbly opened his eyes to see a large face staring down at him.
“Sorry, sir. I must have fallen asleep.”

“You’re Gibbly, aren’t you? You’re supposed to be watching the light this Christmas Eve! Why aren’t you out there?”

Gibbly sat up on the big red couch. “I thought that was just a joke the other elves were playing on me!”

“Oh, no. It is a very serious job. You must get back out there!” the large elf said.

Gibbly got up from the couch, walked out the front door, and braced himself for a long, cold walk. His large, pointy ears started freezing again! Gibbly made it to the pole and realized that the light had gone out! He reached for his communicator, but it was gone.
“I must have left it in the house!” Gibbly thought.

Up in the air, Gibbly could hear Santa’s sleigh approaching his location.

“What should I do? Will Santa lose his way if I don’t fix the light? Where did I leave that extra light bulb?”

Gibbly searched in the snow for the light bulb. Above, he heard Santa’s sleigh getting even closer to the pole, except something didn’t sound right. The bells on the sleigh sounded like they were heading in the wrong direction.

“Oh no! Santa’s reindeer are getting lost! I need to hurry.”

Gibbly found the bulb, took the old one out, and screwed the new one in as quick as he could. The light came to life in a blinding white light. Gibbly looked to the sky. The sleigh bells were getting closer! Within a few seconds, Gibbly heard the loud jingle of sleigh bells and then Santa’s sleigh flew overhead! Santa was back on track and off to deliver presents to children around the world!

“Wow! I really did make a difference. Being frozen from head to toe was certainly worth saving Christmas for all of the girls and boys around the world. I am an important elf,” Gibbly said with a smile.

THE END