Category Archives: Dead Skin Dave

2 Days Away, Mateys!

Ahoy, junior pirates! We are only two days away from the release o’ me new book, Dead Skin Dave, the Pirate. I hope ye are all as excited as I am. Just thinkin’ about me grand adventure for the lost cutlass of Captain Bo Ben brings a smile to me  peely face. Me life has changed so much from that one adventure. I went from a joke to a great captain, met me best first mate Tom Swiftfellow, and even challenged the fiercest pirate in all the world, Hairy Hazelroth. Well, I won’t spoil the story for ye.

Be sure to pick up me new book this Tuesday on Amazon.com! I shall let the author out o’ the closet I trapped in him so he can tell ye when ta buy the book!

Until next time,

Dead Skin Dave

Dead Skin Dave hits the e-shelves April 23rd!

Ahoy, junior pirates! Dead Skin Dave, here. I have been busy gettin’ ready fer my big debut next week! The artwork is being finalized as I speak, and me first mate, Tom, is busy settin’ up streamers fer my big debut party! Today, I’d like ta share with ye the teaser for my book! I hope it gets ye in the mood to read the entire story!

Once upon a time , there was a short, skin-peeling mess of a pirate known to the world as Dead Skin Dave. Dave wanted nothing more than to impress his fellow pirates, but he rarely succeeded. Then one day, the feared Hairy Hazelroth sank his ship and left him stranded on an island full of wanna-be pirates!
Join Dead Skin Dave, the Pirate, his dim-witted first mate, Tom Swiftfellow, and the evil Hairy Hazelroth, as they face off across the high seas in an adventure full of laughs and swashbuckling action for the Legendary Lost Cutlass o’ Captain Bo Ben!

 

Until next time,
Dead Skin Dave, the Pirate!

 

 

Me First Mate is a Rare Find, Indeed

tomAhoy, junior pirates! First, I have a mission for you! Captain Dead Skin Dave is orderin’ you to come up with a pirate mascot! Have yer mom or dad leave me a comment here on this post, and I’ll be sure to see them all!

Today I’ll be tellin’ ye all about me first mate, Tom Swiftfellow. No, Tom, I didn’t call you. No, I don’t need anything. Grog? Well, if yer gettin’ some, that’d be great. I said IF. Yes, I want some, but only if yer gettin’ some anyways.

Sorry, folks! Tom sure is a rare find. A lot has changed sine I first washed ashore on the island of Brushwood and met Tom. Of course, I can’t be tellin’ ya about any o’ it, because I don’t want to spoil me new book coming out at the end o’ this month!

Without further ado, I shall do me best to describe what Tom looks like.
A tall gangly man with long brown hair and brown eyes. His outfit consists of a red polka-dot bandana, brown cloth pants tied with a piece of rope, and a white ruffled shirt that is torn in several places. A wooden sword is placed on his waist, held in place by the rope. His large nose looks like a squash sitting on his face, and a single silver earring hangs from his left ear. I feel awkwardly comfortable with the man’s cheesy grin.

I’ll tell ya, as annoying and, uh, not too bright as he is, he has saved me life on more than one occasion. And fer that, I owe him a place as me first mate for a long as I’m piratin’!

I look forward to checkin’ in with ye all again soon! Until next time,

Dead Skin Dave

 

Dead Skin Dave, the Pirate coming April 2013!
Click here for my Books page and get ready for the order button to appear in the next few weeks!

My fiercest enemy, revealed!

Hello again, junior pirates! Captain Dead Skin Dave here again. I’ve been gettin’ ready to debut my first book o’ adventures next month! I’ve had my first mate, Tom, go out ta all the party stores and stock up on streamers, balloons, and he even found little plastic treasure chests! It’s sure ta be a grand party, indeed!

Today, I am pleased ta introduce you to the most feared pirate in all o’ the seas, Hairy Hazelroth!
Hairy Hazelroth was the vilest pirate of all the seas! Every visible part of his body covered in dark black hair, green ribbons tied to the end of his enormously long beard, and his giant black Captain’s hat, all made this notorious pirate easily identifiable.
Hairy and his crew were known for pillaging not only Royalty ships, but even the ships of fellow pirates. And soon, he would be coming for Dead Skin Dave!

Well, junior pirates, doesn’t Hairy Hazelroth sound scary? I can assure you, he is! You can read all about my encounter with him when me book is released next month!

Next time I will be sharin’ a little more about me first mate, Tom! I hope ye are lookin’ forward to it, ’cause I am! Until then, have a swashbuckin’ good time!

 

Dead Skin Dave, the Pirate coming April 2013!
For more info, click here!

A Swashbucklin’ Good Time (To be cliche)

Ahoy, Mateys! Captain Dead Skin Dave is here, again! I be gettin’ very excited ta share me adventure with ye. Thar just be a few weeks until you can read all about my search for the Lost Cutlass o’ Captain Bo Ben, and my run in with the notorious evil pirate, Hairy Hazelroth!

Now, before my adventure comes out, I’d like ta make all of my young readers official members o’ Captain Dead Skin Dave’s crew! Thar only be a few simple steps ya need to do in order ta join.

Step 1: Ask yer parents if ya can be a junior pirate for Dead Skin Dave!

Step 2: Take the official Captain Dead Skin Dave Junior Pirate Oath:
I, (your name), promise to be the best junior pirate I can!
I will read all of Dead Skin Dave’s adventures,
Follow all orders from my Captains, Mom and Dad!
Speak like a pirate as often as I can,
And go outside and have a swashbucklin’ good time!

Step 3: Download and print out the Official Captain Dead Skin Dave’s Junior Pirates Badge!
jrpirates

I Claim this Blog for Pirates Everywhere!

Well, hello there. This is Dead Skin Dave, and  have officially taken over this here blog. I’m not really sure what a blog is, but here I am anyways. I was able ta escape out o’ me book and into his strange world. Ryan was actually sleepin’ at the time, so he doesn’t quite know yet.

Anyways, I am here to tell ye all that my greatest adventure is comin’ to a bookstore near you in less than one month! Stay tuned fer more updates from me all month long.

You see, I wasn’t always a famous pirate. Har, I thought I was, but I didn’t know any better. I was – huh? What’s that? Yes, Tom, I know ye think I have always been a famous pirate. Sorry, folks. That was my first mate, Tom. Fortune was smilin’ down on me the day that me met. In fact, that is what started out my greatest adventure. I guess without further ado, I present the synopsis for the book of my adventure. Hope ye enjoy it!

“Once upon a time , there was a salty seadog of a pirate known to the world as Dead Skin Dave. His short stature and horrible peeling skin made him
the most unique pirate to ever sail the seas. His fellow pirates treated him as a joke, but one day Dead Skin Dave proved them all wrong.

     One day, while sailing for the legendary lost cutlass of BoBen, the evil pirate Hairy Hazelroth sinks Dave’s ship, leaving him on an island full of  wannabe pirates. There, Dave meets his future first mate Tom and realizes his opportunity to finally become a real pirate captain among these dim-witted inhabitants. Dave and Tom set sail only to have Hairy Hazelroth cross their path again in what ends up being a life changing journey for everyone involved.”

Oh, thar be lots ta share with ya, mates! Look for more coming soon! Tom, get me my slippers….